How well do you deal with change? For some people it is welcome, for others it is disruptive, and like anything, there is a giant spectrum of small to large changes and we all fall somewhere on it. You are ultimately the one who decides though if you can or can’t or will or won’t accept it and process it. So how do we deal with change if we find ourselves fighting it at the same time?
Change is difficult for people for a number of reasons, but more often than not it comes down to a person’s ability to control a situation. Control creates stability, safety, and generally an expected or predicted outcome. When you take that away from some people, you can really turn their lives upside down. It can be difficult to comprehend the impact change has on a person, and it can also be difficult to communicate the impact change is having on us.
The first thing you can do when presented with a changing situation is to wait for facts. Using work as an example, say you start hearing rumblings that some people are going to work from home and some people are still going to have to come in every day. Wait for the facts, from the person with them. Change has a friend named uncertainty, they both like to find people who have control and change issues, get in their head and create a lot of scenarios that are not even probably real… So change is coming? Wait for the facts, from the person with them.
Once you have facts, you are able to make an informed decision, yet immediately when you find out you are going to work from home, you get upset. Ask yourself- WHY? Why is this change upsetting you? You may need to do a little digging to figure out why and hopefully you will then realize that maybe this change isn’t so bad. You start to learn to pick and choose your battles too. It can be a difficult process, especially if there are some mental or emotional wounds that surround change and fear, but if we want to continue to grow and evolve out of this mindset, we need to acknowledge we are stuck in a cycle of not compromising, not accepting changes, and not trying new things.
There are going to be times where you are presented with change and it is too much. So take a step back, take a deep breath, and trust in yourself. It’s like The Gambler says, you gotta know when to hold ’em and know when to fold ’em!
In mid-March, everything seemed to change-and fast! The studio classes I was teaching- canceled. The bars and my other source of income – on hold indefinitely. My schooling- and everyone’s – shifted online. Those changes there were big enough – let alone the changes to social interaction, when and how I could shop, it was just so much so fast. So I took a step back… I folded my hand so to speak. I parked my butt on the couch and waited for everything to unfold over a week or two, let my school get everything squared away with our online platform and then I jumped right back into the swing of things.
In a recent blog, I spoke about slowing down and how sometimes you need to if you are going to move ahead. This is a similar concept, different circumstances though. As things unfold for you in the coming months, as our lives continue to change around us, remember: wait for details, ask yourself “why?”, and then decide if you can handle it or make the choice to step back and figure it out.
It’s up to you to know when to hold ’em and know when to fold ’em… Do what you and do it well. Namaste 🙏